Archive for October, 2011

And convention wins after all.

I was trying so hard to question society’s standards for a relationship, that in my arrogant challenge, I was painfully set in my place.

Now I’m left with the loneliness of challenging society. But it’s more of another type of loneliness. I’ve just realized the pain of losing a lover. Why am I so damn proud! 😦

I can salvage this experience in the fact that my tendency to question convention reveals that I seek to understand the foundation of a convention, particularly that of romantic relationships in this case. But for all this knowledge, what did I have to pay? 😦

Who wins? I just feel so defeated. I’ll just be sad forever now…

I entered not knowing what I wanted. I now know what it is I could have, and that I now lack it. Do I want it?

…I’m ruined.

“How do people do this?? —this… ‘living’ thing?? …everyday?!!” —lol.

***All these words sound a lot more melodramatic than I usually am. Right now all I can do is be painfully amused. At myself. At my failure. At my arrogance.